I have had dizziness since 96'. I really don't know what brought it on it just happened. Since it first happened of course it has only gotten worse. I went to a doctor in Winston. He was an Otolaryngologist (ear, nose and throat doctor). I was told by him that he thought I had Perilymph Fistula. That is when you have a hole in you inner ear that is between your middle and inner ear and it lets the fluid from your inner ear into your middle ear where there is not supposed to be any water. Which in turn causes the dizziness

. The only way that they could tell for sure is to do exploratory surgery. But if I did have that they would patch the hole and it could cause permanent hearing loss and might not even work if you was to pull the patch loose. There were other things I could do that might work as in 40% out of 100%. He told me to never to bend over always stoop down. Never let my head go below my heart which would cause pressure in my ear. Sleep with my head 4 inches higher. Never lay flat in other words. And these things could help the hole to patch itself. But it never worked for me mainly because I have 3 children and at the time my youngest was just a tiny baby.

These things to me was very hard to do. Because this is an everyday part of life. I have several tests but nothing ever came to be of any help to me. This last doctor told me to do some sort of physical therapy to learn to retrain my balance system to cope with my damaged ear. I really do all sorts of things as in everyday life that seems to me as physical therapy especially when you have 3 children. I still feel bad. I get depressed a lot trying to figure out why this has happened to me. I do not like asking anyone for help. I try to tell people how I feel but that just pity me and I don't want that I just want to be normal. I also notice that in the summer months it gets worse especially when I get hot. I feel like I am going to pass out. I want a normal life for myself and my kids. I want to be a mother who can do all the things that a good Mom would do.

Like when my children have things at school. I tend to get very nervous around a lot of people. So I am a loner. I have no one to talk to about my feelings about the way I feel. I am married and he does listen but with no response as to how I am feeling but I assume he does care but don't know what to do for me. He also has huge back problems which only adds to my depression because it is left up to me to do everything for our children most of the time. But it is not his fault. I am almost out of hope for anything these days but I have to go on no matter what happens. Thanks for listening to my problems and if you want to talk email me at

Darby98@aol.com